Domestic Violence – With Men.

Relationships can be an emotional roller coaster. Throughout the ride, men and women can be everything from loving and nurturing, to sometimes verbally and even physically abuisive during fights. Domestic violence is real, and it happens to both men and women. While aggression in heterosexual are believed to stem from men, women tend to commit domestic violence as well. Just as men, women are classed as abusive too.

When it comes to me and domestic violence, there has been a perception made that men whom are assaulted by their partners are often ignored by the police. When reporting for protection via the courts with a domestic violence case, men and women go through the same exact procedure. “In our offie a person can come in and file, and just general questions are asked, (their name and their relationship with the parties) and they would fill out an application that would have their names and the other parties as well – they would then will out a petition. After they fill out the petition, it is then taken to the clerks office to be filed.” Says the receptionist in the Domestic violence intake center, from H. Carl Moultrie I Courthouse of the District of Columbia. (She wanted to remain unknown) After the petition is filled out, because it’s on a first come first serve basis, it all depends on timing to when the two parties can go before the judge.

With researching and traveling to the courts, I gathered as much information and observed as much as I could with domestic violence against men. With all of this, I found that there isn’t a greater ease/difficulty in filling claims and getting assistance for men vs. women, but however, when these two parties get in front of the judge it is indeed a different story. I had the chance to dig deeper and find out what it was like to watch an actual case of domestic violence be presented to the judge. I sat, observed, and saw what I expected to see. A guilty man of domestic violence have his only son taken from him with no mercy from the judge. The judge granted the mother full custody of the child, and twice every other week visitation from the father only, AND IF ONLY he is to enroll in a domestic violence counseling program as well as a parenting counseling program. I left the room speechless. His passion on how much he loves his child and how all he wanted to do was care for his children made me believe he was guilty. It was sad to watch that case end the way it did.

Many men do not report or recognize themselves as victims of abuse. Domestic violence is considered one of the most pressing issues in American society. Everyone quotes the statistics given by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: 1 in 4 women will be victims of domestic violence at some point in their lives, 1.3 million women are assaulted by their partner every year, 85% of domestic violence reported is against women. However, in a conflicting SURVEY taken by the CDC in 2010, it was found that 40% of the victims of severe, physical domestic violence are men. Although there has been an increase in the NUMBER of fatal domestic violence incidents against women, men are more likely to be victims of attacks with a deadly weapon. According to one study, 63% of males as opposed to 15% of females had a deadly weapon used against them in a fight with an intimate partner.